Categories of Friends

My friends can be divided into 4 different categories:

1. Competence: Has the right skills to solve your issue. They are an expert or authority in their area.

2. Care: Cares for you, not your success.

3. Character: Has a strong moral compass and uncompromising values.

4. Consistency: Reliable, present and available when you need them.

An ideal partner is someone who can fulfill all the 4 criteria but it is almost impossible (never be so certain about things) to find that person. 

It is important to manage expectation in friendships. One should categorise your friends based on what they actually give you, not what you want them to give you. 

Similarly, other people can categorise you as a friend based on these 4 categories, therefore be attentive to what you can offer them. Most importantly, ask yourself: What can you offer first?

It is important to note that the role you play in someone else's life won't always match the role they play in yours. If you offer care to another person, it does not necessary mean the person should offer care to you in return. It could be consistency or competence depending on what the person offers. 

People can come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime, so your lists of friends might expand or shrunk. Treasure every single one of them because permanence is never guaranteed (like every other things in the world). It takes effort to keep connected and build trust.